Sunday, January 22, 2012

Hope

During a lecture this afternoon to one of the kiddos today about anger and coping skills, I realized what a hypocrite I am.  I owe you an apology. My last post was completely negative and I allowed my frustration to get the best of me.  I am sorry.


This past week I did part of my training in the office learning the mounds of paperwork that is required and part of my training out on the road, doing what I will be entrusted to do.  I will be doing the same thing again this week.  I know, going into this type of work, the burn out rate is high.  The turnover rate even higher, yet I still remain eternally optimistic.

If there is just one child, one family that benefits from what I do then I am happy.  I know that this job, specifically, is not what I want to do for the rest of my life, but the experience I will gain will be phenomenal.

I am naively optimistic that everyone will want and welcome my help.  Realistically this will not be the case.  I think that will be the hardest part for me, seeing a family, a mother, a child, a father that chooses to remain content without considering his/her possibilities.  It does not make them less than me or me more than them.  I just want to show that change is possible.

Once upon a time, I was a single mom.  Working full time, going to school, raising 3 boys - it's not easy.  I tried to do it without help until I realized I couldn't.  I had to rely on family.  I had to rely on government assistance.  I hated it.  It makes me feel weak to have to ask for help.  I understand the nuances of change.  I really do.

I cannot fathom that I will ever doubt man's ability to change.  I just hope that change is for the better.

9 comments:

Jenny Woolf said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenny Woolf said...

Don't feel bad about being mad. Nobody goes through life being a Buddhist saint (except Buddhist saints I suppose) :)

Good to know you will be doing something useful, Cathy, it is always rewarding to work for the benefit of others.

BTW sorry I managed to mix the
name of your blog up with smeone else's on my latest post, (I have corrected it now before too much damage is done, I hope!) Must be getting tired.... just noticed the time, 0.15 AM. Wow. Definitely time to hit the hay.

Birds, Bees, Berries, and Blooms said...

Don't stress about it. Wal-mart has that effect on me. Agitation.

Birds, Bees, Berries, and Blooms said...

Don't stress about it. Wal-mart has that effect on me. Agitation.

Leann said...

I think that your having walked the walk will make you a more powerful change maker.

Leann

Bossy Betty said...

Honey, we are here for all of it, not just the sugar! Makes life interesting, doesn't it?

Out on the prairie said...

You have lots of talent to share, it is a tough field.

Corner Gardener Sue said...

I didn't see that post as being totally negative. We all have frustrations at times, and when we vent, it can help us let it go.

I like your thoughts about the new job.

Corine said...

Hope for change is a wonderful gift! :)
PS. I didn't think you were negative. I'm sorry you had such frustrating experiences, and hope the venting helped...