Hope

During a lecture this afternoon to one of the kiddos today about anger and coping skills, I realized what a hypocrite I am.  I owe you an apology. My last post was completely negative and I allowed my frustration to get the best of me.  I am sorry.

This past week I did part of my training in the office learning the mounds of paperwork that is required and part of my training out on the road, doing what I will be entrusted to do.  I will be doing the same thing again this week.  I know, going into this type of work, the burn out rate is high.  The turnover rate even higher, yet I still remain eternally optimistic.

If there is just one child, one family that benefits from what I do then I am happy.  I know that this job, specifically, is not what I want to do for the rest of my life, but the experience I will gain will be phenomenal.

I am naively optimistic that everyone will want and welcome my help.  Realistically this will not be the case.  I think that will be the hardest part for me, seeing a family, a mother, a child, a father that chooses to remain content without considering his/her possibilities.  It does not make them less than me or me more than them.  I just want to show that change is possible.

Once upon a time, I was a single mom.  Working full time, going to school, raising 3 boys - it's not easy.  I tried to do it without help until I realized I couldn't.  I had to rely on family.  I had to rely on government assistance.  I hated it.  It makes me feel weak to have to ask for help.  I understand the nuances of change.  I really do.

I cannot fathom that I will ever doubt man's ability to change.  I just hope that change is for the better.