Gone but forgotten?

Isn't it amazing how you blink and months have passed?  I know I am.  It seems just like yesterday I was still a full time student.  Today, I am a full time social worker and will be starting my master's program in a few weeks.  This job has helped me realize how truly fortunate I am.

The boys will be starting back to school soon.  None of us are ready for the hectic mornings, late night projects, and homework.  But all of us are ready for ready for a routine again.  Summer has consisted of late nights, video games, and braces.   Yes, braces.

We put out our garden three times.  The first two times the deer and rabbits devoured it.  The third time everything died from lack of rain.  And of course I've snapped a few pictures.

While I may not post regularly, I still read your blogs!

A few of my favorites through the years

These were snapped over the course of the last few years.  This outhouse is in Price Cemetery in the Hico community in West Tennessee.  I have no idea how long it's been there but I actually remember using it as a small child when we went to cemetery day.

Doubt

I have to admit, I love checking my email.  Yes, I play on facebook a little bit and I blog here, but I love getting email.

Especially this week.


We are pleased to inform you that you have been admitted to our Master of Science in Social Work.


I thought I would probably get in, but I wasn't sure.  There  was a lot of self-doubt.  Doubt about being able to raise a family, work, and go to school.  Doubts about taking on more student loan debt, doubts about my own abilities at grad school level, doubts about missing more time with my children...

There will always be doubt.

But this is something I need to do for me.  The quantity of paper work, even after being accepted, is unbelievable.

That being said, it's time I believe in myself.

“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.” 
― William Shakespeare

Is it spring? Brrrrrr

We've had gale force winds, tornadoes, and temperatures hovering around 60 degrees.  Now Mother Nature decides it's winter.  It's spit snow, tiny dry little flakes today and it's damp and windy and cold.  There are even daffodils coming up in my yard and they are blooming in my neighbor's!

I apologize for not posting more, but now that I'm a big girl and have a big girl job, I really just cannot find the time to do a lot of things I used to enjoy.  I'm afraid my gardening and canning will be reduced dramatically this summer.

The flu bug has hit hubby.  Between trips to the bathroom he has body aches and chills.  I am so glad that the kids and I had our flu shots, I just hope it works!

As soon as littlest squirt got home, he and I went to get our taxes started then went to get groceries.  I think it's been between 3-4 weeks since I did a big grocery visit.  Holy cow!  Gas here is $3.34 a gallon and a gallon of milk is even more than that!  I'm so glad I have a job now to help make ends meet.  I should know in 3-4 weeks if I have been accepted to grad school.  Even if I'm accepted, I am still on the fence.  It is scary to be ...ahem... my age and already be up to my elbows in school loans and doubling that with a masters.

Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.

Dale E. Turner

Random thoughts

Yesterday was my last day of training and Sunday is my first day on the job.  All alone.  All by myself.  I had been mapping out all my stops and setting up appointments when I was notified I had to change my schedule.  I will have, in total, about 7 hours just in drive time on Sunday.  Sigh.  Not what I signed up for, but I'll roll with the flow.

There will be nights when I may not get home until well after dinner time, so I am wildly searching for family friendly crockpot meals.  If you have a favorite I would love to try it.  I do think they are getting tired of soup, though!  I don't mind them eating sandwiches every now and then.  And they will eat canned ravioli (gag) but that is only every once in a while.  I want them to have healthy, hearty meals.

If you haven't been over to the Mennonite Girls Can Cook blog, you are really missing out!  They have the most amazing recipes.  I'm headed over there now to see if I can use some of the casserole recipes in the crockpot.

Is it just this area or has your winter been strange too?  It's been mild and windy.  Very windy, in fact.  We've had tornadoes, sunshine, rain, days at near 60 when it should be in the high 20's / low 30's.  This really makes me wonder how this will affect the temperatures later in the year.


According to the almanac:


Jan 29-31: Snowy, cold.
FEBRUARY 2012:temperature 26° (6° below avg.); precipitation 3.5" (2" above avg. east, 1" below west); Feb 1-5: Snow showers, cold; Feb 6-9: Showers, mild;Feb 10-16: Snow, then snow showers, cold; Feb 17-20: Snow, very cold; Feb 21-25: Sunny, turning mild; Feb 26-29: Heavy rain to snow, turning cold.




Have a great weekend!

Hope

During a lecture this afternoon to one of the kiddos today about anger and coping skills, I realized what a hypocrite I am.  I owe you an apology. My last post was completely negative and I allowed my frustration to get the best of me.  I am sorry.

This past week I did part of my training in the office learning the mounds of paperwork that is required and part of my training out on the road, doing what I will be entrusted to do.  I will be doing the same thing again this week.  I know, going into this type of work, the burn out rate is high.  The turnover rate even higher, yet I still remain eternally optimistic.

If there is just one child, one family that benefits from what I do then I am happy.  I know that this job, specifically, is not what I want to do for the rest of my life, but the experience I will gain will be phenomenal.

I am naively optimistic that everyone will want and welcome my help.  Realistically this will not be the case.  I think that will be the hardest part for me, seeing a family, a mother, a child, a father that chooses to remain content without considering his/her possibilities.  It does not make them less than me or me more than them.  I just want to show that change is possible.

Once upon a time, I was a single mom.  Working full time, going to school, raising 3 boys - it's not easy.  I tried to do it without help until I realized I couldn't.  I had to rely on family.  I had to rely on government assistance.  I hated it.  It makes me feel weak to have to ask for help.  I understand the nuances of change.  I really do.

I cannot fathom that I will ever doubt man's ability to change.  I just hope that change is for the better.

Have you ever just had one of those days?

I got up this morning did 3 loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen and living room, and decided I needed to go to town.  Now, when I say "go to town", it's an event, not just a trip to town.

Both the kiddos needed a haircut and I needed a few groceries.  Since when did it cost $30 (total) for two kids haircuts?  At Walmart??

After my few piddly little bags of groceries, my wallet was $75 lighter.  Now I'm not blaming Walmart for the cost of groceries I'm just saying that's where we went.  Decided to go to the car wash and vacuum out the winter crud from the car and decided to throw away my walmart receipt.  Big mistake.

Got home, unloaded, sat down and realized I didn't remember bringing in the bag of two whole frozen chickens. The kids helped put the things away so I checked the fridge.  Nope.  Freezer?  Nope.  Truck of the car?  Nope.

Sigh.

Of course the customer behind me either didn't notice they got two free whole chickens or they chose to wallow in their good fortune and not turn them into customer service (I called to see if they'd been turned in and they hadn't been and because I couldn't produce my receipt, I'm out of luck).  That was enough for at least four dinners for us.  I hope the people that got the chickens truly needed them because that's the only thing that's keeping my anger in check.